C'est la Vie

I have had a whirlwind of a few weeks. Yet, I realize that such is life. Every time I say that things will "calm down" or that I will "get a break", I am forced to realize that there is no such thing.

I start my master's program one week from today and I feel like I have yet to accomplish any of the things that I had put onto my laundry list for this summer. I haven't cleaned out the garage or read any of my books or made it to the yoga place or salvation army. However, I have done a lot of things that are seemingly more important.

I have realized that people change.


Granted, this is something that I have been aware of for many years. However, I must admit that I somehow thought that it did not apply to everyone. I have recently realized that it does.

My best friend of nearly 12 years completely let me down and embarrassed me this week. I have always pardoned her eccentric behavior over the years on the grounds that she is a good person on the inside. Her behavior this past week has shattered that argument to pieces. What she is doing with her life and how she has treated my loved ones and I is beyond anything that I am willing to accept from a "friend".

She has changed.


I have also changed.


The week's events have lead to the development that I will be watching O's boys (who shall, henceforth, be dubbed the Cs) for the duration of the summer. They are great kids and I am actually really excited to get a chance to get to know them. However, they are still two kids that I will now be watching full time instead of working. This is a scenario that would have had me in a near panic even a few months ago.

OMG OMG OMG I have to watch these kids that I barely know allll day everyday!! When will I bathe?!? When will I read my books?!?! When will I do LAUNDRY?!  How am I going to keep them entertained ?!?!?! etc....etc....etc....


Yet, I am not having such a panic attack. As soon as I realized that my friend was going to bail. Which, for the record, was before she even came down here. I knew that she would. When it became "official" that she was bailing, I just took it on like I try to take on everything in my life now: if this is what has to be done, then you just do it. Pissing and moaning won't get you anywhere.

Why must it be done?


Bottom line? I love their dad and he needs me to do it. I am also more than capable of doing it.

That is where I have changed.

I am no longer afraid of my abilities. I have, in a sense, begun to resolve my Jonah complex. I am no longer ashamed of being able to do or accomplish. I don't need to be taken care of by anyone and I am capable of helping to take care of others. There is no reason for me to panic.

Things are actually far more enjoyable when you just take a deep breath, accept the reality of the situation, and just go with it. I don't need to spend days mulling over the situation and examining it from every angle. I can actually trust my gut and go with the flow.

I don't need to fear myself anymore. I am pretty damned put together at this point in time.

I can organize schedules, cook, clean, order text books, do laundry, empty out cars, blog, make snacks, discipline as necessary, and keep relatively sane. I am not super human. I am just beginning to find peace.

Once you start to find peace from within, it becomes much easier to handle the chaos that comes from without.

I don't ignore the problems or glaze over them. I don't turn a blind eye. I simply take stock of the situation and how I feel about it. If necessary, I will address any issues that I have. I will then carry on and take on the next situation etc etc etc.

C'est la vie.

People change, we change, life changes, life is stressful, life is busy, life is beautiful.


You do not need to be a masochist or a martyr. Do not take on more than you can handle. Just don't make issues where there doesn't need to be. You will spend more time miserable-ing than you would actually getting it done.

One thing that my mom always said "I don't care who's laundry that is on the floor! If it is on the floor, then pick it up!". She had such a way with words.

The fact of the matter is that it doesn't matter if it is your responsibility or their responsibility. If it needs to get done, then just fucking do it!


This is where another mentor's words of wisdom comes into play for me: some people can and some people can't.


If you can, then do it. If they can't, then don't massacre them for it. Can you handle that they can't? Can they handle that you can?

This is why I don't understand why some couples will piss and moan about laundry and cooking and cleaning. These are not things to bitch and moan about.

If you have both had a long ass day and you can handle the dishes sitting in the sink then so be it. If one of you can cook like a food network star, then the other one can clean. If your man will ruin your delicates, then he can't do the laundry. He can take the cars to get washed instead. Don't yell at each other about why don't you ever cook or why don't you take out the trash! Acknowledge that all of these things must be done and you each will do what you can. Hopefully, it balances out. If it doesn't, then feel free to yell at will.


I can handle a lot. I can do a lot. In fact, there isn't much that I am incapable of doing or getting done.

I can't change my oil; but, I can take it to get it done. I can pick up the dog shit... but I would rather cook dinner. I can't eat gluten; but, I can find gluten-free pizza parlors.

Life is what you make of it. Don't bitch about your problems and what needs to get done. Don't become paralyzed by fear or overwhelmed by responsibility. Do what you can. Find a way get what you can't done. Enjoy the process.

Life is good.