A Wondrous Day

This will be brief as I am posting via iPhone. However, I wanted to share how today has been.

I went into my lawyer's office yesterday to read the 29 page report. I can't reveal much of what it said. However I can say that it was one of the most validating things that I have ever read.

It was not 100% positive with regards to its content about myself or my insignificant other. Yet, nothing that it said was a shock or a blow. I knew everything that it said already. It simply confirmed for me that my faith in myself and my intended profession was well placed.

I went to my therapy appointment laughing and grinning from ear to ear. For once, I was not shaken by the truth. It did not dishearten me or rattle me. It was the truth and I stopped hiding from that a long time ago. I have stared deep into myself and into the reality of my life. I know who I am and I am just fine with who that woman is becoming.

I spent a fair bit of time discussing the report with my therapist. Then, I recognized that there was very little to dissect and moved on to more current concerns.

That was when I realized why I am such peace with regards to my relationship. My boyfriend and I have a way of communicating that can be rivaled only by those who have known me at least 6 times as long. I know that he knows everything about me and vice versa. We do not hide things from each other. We are not ashamed of who we are or who we are together. The beautiful thing about it is that even knowing all of that... I can still lose track of all time just looking at him or laying next to him. So much has changed; but it has happened in both of us and on the same path :)

I had no hesitation in calling a girlfriend to schedule a night free of men and children. I took the day to myself. I went to group and thanked the clinical director. I told her that I was done with the reconstruction. That I will continue to evolve; but that there are no repairs left to be made. I am complete.

She very nearly cried with me. I know thy it is all going my direction. That I just need to keep doing what I am doing.

I sat down at a restaurant on my own and enjoyed my meal. I savored the feeling of the artichoke juice running down my arm. I set my phone down and enjoyed the peace of being by myself. Knowing that I would see loved ones in a short while. Knowing that I was safe with myself. That there is no need to fear what may happen.

I am happy. I will keep being happy. That is my choice and there is little that anyone or anything can do to change my mind.


I'm going to finish my sangria now.