I Want to Kill a Bitch

I am doing my best to rally inner strength and confidence but I am failing. I get twenty more minutes to center myself and I don't really know how to do it.

I have been sitting in a room sandwiched between my lawyer and a court reporter while my ex and his shithead of an attorney sit across from me. I get to be interrogated about my quality as a mother and how and why I have come to the decisions that I have about how to raise her.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs that her father didn't even want me to have her that he kicked us out when she was 6 weeks old. That I have worked my ass off to take care of and provide for her while he sits around and gets high. That he hasn't contributed shit to raising her.

I can't though....

I have to do my best to answer questions without losing my head.

I have to remember that I need to put her best interests in front of my pride.

I have to remember that nothing will ever convince either my ex or the attorney that I always have and always will do what is best for her.

I can scream in the car.

I can call my therapist.

I can do my best to center myself.

I need to stop giving him the satisfaction of upsetting me.

Fuck him.


I know an everyone that knows me knows the truth of the matter.

I will never convince them, so why try....?


Time to pee n scream and get back to being bad ass.....


I hope

Send me strength??